Snow White: Princess, or Persecuted?

Now, some people may know the story of the classic Disney princess named Snow White. What the public knows about her is that she was mercifully spared when she was supposed to be killed by order of the queen because she was the fairest maiden of them all in her kingdom. Then, she went on to find seven dwarves with whom she stayed and created a new life. However, that is not actually what happened. Well, I should say that is the narrative that Snow White herself wants you to believe. The truth about this law-breaking, conniving, devious ‘princess’ is as follows. Prepare yourself for a wild journey and the shocking story behind the woman you thought you knew as a child when you dreamed about being the “Fairest of Them All” for yourself.

From the moment that Snow White was born, she was the most sought-after baby in her kingdom. Everyone who saw her with her parents, walking through the streets and picking flowers when she could eventually walk, on the quaint island village called Somerset Lane wished they could have a child with the beauty and grace that Snow already possessed at a mere one year old. People would stop her mother while she was shopping at the morning farmer’s market and ask her how her baby was so elegant, magical, and tranquil. “Did you use a secret potion from the elders?” “Was she delivered to you from the Heavens?” “Did you trade your soul to the devil for her beauty?” These were all questions Snow White’s mother, Margareta, received daily about her only daughter and child. She would simply smile, blush, and shake her head “no”. Snow White was hers, and hers alone, aside from her lovely little family, of course. The problem with Ms. Snow White, however, was when she began to grow up. As time passed, the sweet, angelic persona that Margareta once knew changed into a rebellious adolescent and then an angry teenager who acted out against her kind and understanding parents. Margareta feared that, because she was acting this way in the privacy of her home, she may not be considered as a suitable partner when she was presented at the Debutante Ball that season if she were to bring that behavior to the light of day. To answer the question lingering in your mind right now as you read this twisted tale, Snow White was approaching the age when all the formalities of entering society and embracing her royal heritage began: a mere sixteen. So, I do have to pause for a moment. I may have previously neglected to mention that Snow White’s father, Elon, was the king of Somerset Lane. He had become the king when Snow was only six years old. This is when she started to stray away from the well-behaved girl everyone knew her to be behind closed doors. It is as if she knew that, one day, her time to rule would approach her. So, from that point onward, she acted out to show her parents that she was not, and would never be, ready for the heavy responsibility of being Queen.  

This is why her mother was so worried about her daunting unveiling at the Debutante Ball the following week. She did not know, or even believe at this point, that any suitable young man would find the prospective princess promising, even if her dad was king. Any possible prince, or future king, may look right through her, fueled by greed, and only see her as a link to royal lineage and a position of power instead of the kind girl she was, deep inside her heart. Margareta wanted more than that kind of life for her daughter. She wanted Snow to find a man with integrity, honor, respect, and most importantly, one who truly loved her. She didn’t quite know how to tell her daughter this, though, so she kept it inside. Margareta had been paired with King Elon by her own mother by chance. Thankfully, she found that she truly did love him. In fact, it was almost love at first glance. However, she knew some people whose situation did not work out as perfectly. Therefore, she was internally deeply afraid of this fate for Snow White. To avoid this, she had tried being strict with Snow for the past year or so, but the damage was already done: she was a wild child. At this point, knowing her daughter, Margareta wouldn’t be baffled if Snow up and ran away with the first piece of riffraff she met to start a whole new life. 

As the days ticked by like a broken clock with hands that move too fast, the week prior to the Debutante Ball passed for Snow White and her mother. All the while, what Margareta didn’t know was that Snow White was holed up in her gorgeous, blueberry-colored bedroom plotting a plan that would unfold on the fateful night of the Ball. She was going to steal the most coveted piece of artwork in the entire kingdom of Somerset Lane Island. It just so happened that the wand was stored and watched with an immaculate eye in the Ballroom Hall.  After she stole this precious kingdom-wide heirloom, she was going to run far, far away from her current life where she was trapped within the confines of an island that she would be taxed with ruling on her own one day, forever. The ruby and gold-encrusted wand was saved from a fatal fire that took place 100 years ago in the almighty Fairy Godmother’s palace. The Fairy Godmother was the hero who saved Cinderella from a dreadful life of housework and squabbling sisters so long ago. However, there was one problem with her intricate plan to abscond with this wand. The artifact would be heavily and constantly guarded by her father’s men, especially during the Ball, given the influx of plebeian traffic. This wand was the most sacred piece of history that Somerset Lane Island had been bestowed to establish their connection and alliance with the rest of the villages on surrounding islands, so it must be preserved at all costs. Therefore, Snow White had to figure out how to steal this wand without anyone being the wiser. To do this, she unfortunately needed help from someone she knows wouldn’t reveal her nefarious plans. So, she went to the most well-renowned thief on the island. His name was Flynn Larkstone; he had a reputation with the ladies, and Snow didn’t mind his dashing appearance herself. However, she visited him on a specific mission with only one question in mind: How could she get past the guards and escape with the elusive wand? 

Snow White approaches Flynn Larkstone’s house for the first time.

When she arrived at his home, she wasn’t sure if she had come to the right place. Flynn’s house was a one-story, dilapidated shanty with dozens of cats, dogs, and rodents scampering through the front yard. Their howls and meows seemed to come together to create a chaotic chorus. However, Snow had used her father’s master address book that contained the location of every resident in the kingdom to locate him, so this had to be correct. Suddenly, she heard a rooster crowing in the distance, but she couldn’t quite place where it was coming from. Then, something in her head told her to look up. Above her she saw both Flynn Larkstone and a rooster staring down at her inquisitively. Snow was shocked and jumped back for a moment. “What in goodness gracious are you doing there?!” Snow White asked the perplexed man on the roof. He responded, “I think the better question would be, why are you here?” From that point, Snow White proceeded to explain her plan, and its admittedly obvious flaws, to Flynn and his rooftop rooster. As she was laying out the idea she had to steal the wand, he looked confused, then rather amused as she finished. “Don’t you think there is a reason I have never tried to steal that thing?” Flynn finally said to her after a long period of silence. He continued, saying “That wand is, well, quite literally priceless. Your daddy won’t let anyone get near that thing except for his guards. That includes you, I guess,” he finished. Snow White looked at him with frustration and impatience broiling behind her bright eyes. She said, “Well, clearly I know that Flynn. That’s why I came for your help!” She said in a pouty tone.

There was yet again another long pause while Flynn thought about his next move in this conversation that he thought could very easily be a trap set up by the king to arrest him for a crime he didn’t even commit. “How do I know you’re not working with your father?” Flynn cautiously asked her. “There’s no way I can really prove it to you,” she said. “But I can tell you why I want to do it.” Now, it was Snow’s turn to pause. She had to make sure she could convince him. But, it shouldn’t be hard, she thought because it’s the truth. “Ever since I was a baby, people have been obsessed with me. Whenever I’m in public, people stare at me and point towards me with stars in their eyes about how good of a girl, daughter, child, or whatever they wanted to call me at that moment. Of course, that sounds like a great thing from the outside looking inwards. But, as time went by, it got to be so, so stressful for me. I was only six when I started feeling the pressure. Everywhere I went, there was this constant expectation that I was to act, look, and speak perfectly. People didn’t ever see me as a person; I was an object that made people feel better about the state of our kingdom at any given time. And then, my dad became king, and it only got worse. If I ever spoke out of turn, laughed too loudly at a joke, or didn’t put my napkin in my lap, among a long list of other unacceptable behaviors for a lady, I was scolded by the public. My parents weren’t even the ones doing it, surprisingly. So, ever since my dad was crowned, I have had to put on this ‘perfect princess’ act when I go out into the kingdom. That means that, when I get home, I let loose all my anger and how tired I am of being held to this unrealistic standard by, well….everyone. And I know how this sounds. Trust me. My poor, poor parents are forced to deal with a spoiled, rich little brat of a daughter. But, they have not once done anything to change the public’s perception of me. Not ever! They have let me go through this alone. And for that, I am and will always be resentful. I want to steal that stupid wand so that I can sell it, gather all my splendors from the profit, and make my own way in a place where nobody has ever seen my face. I won’t have to deal with the pressure of presiding over a place that will never let me do anything wrong without intense scrutiny. So, that’s my story, Flynn. Do you believe me now?”

Credit: Etsy

Flynn looked at her with slight shock, but also a level of empathy. He went on to explain how the village had always expected the opposite of him, so he understood how it felt to constantly and indubitably fail the people of Somerset Lane, no matter how hard you tried. “Okay,” Flynn said. “I’m in. This isn’t going to be easy, but I think that we can pull it off.” He jumped off the roof and stood next to her with his rooster in tow. “Oh, and one other thing,” he said. “What’s that?” asked Snow. “I want to come with you.” Snow looked at him like he was crazy for a second. “You want to go with me!?” She said in disbelief, with a slight tinge of excitement behind her words. “Yes,” he said plainly. “I want to get out of here for the same reasons you do. So, if you let me come with you, I will help you.” “Fine, fine. If you insist,” Snow White said back, huffing and puffing. “Well then,” he said. “Let’s get to work on this plan”.

After days upon days of diligent preparation, Princess Snow White and Flynn finally finished their plan to steal the Fairy Godmother’s precious wand. Something that Snow had noticed as she was working with Flynn was that he was not at all as bad as people made him out to be. He was just a normal guy who stole things, only when he had to for the purpose of survival. The goody two-shoes in her still frowned upon this behavior. However, she saw that he was not a malicious person at all. “I think it’s all ready,” said Flynn, pulling her out of her daydream. “Oh that’s great, Flynn! I’m so glad,” Snow said back to him. Was she imagining it, or did Flynn just blush? Oh, well. They had a mission to carry out. “Let’s review everything step-by-step right now so we don’t forget or mess it up when the time comes,” Snow White said to Flynn. Flynn scoffed in amusement at her obvious anxiety over the task at large but allowed her to do it so she felt better about everything. This was their plan: Step 1: Create a distraction that will get the guards to leave their post. This will take the form of Snow White getting in a public argument with one of the guests, which will be incredibly shocking to everyone who knows her. The argument will suddenly become physical, as Snow White will choose someone to fight with who already has had a few magical beverages that night. Then, King Elon will naturally call upon all his guards to subdue, but also protect, his daughter. Step 2: Flynn will then cut the power to the Ballroom. The switch board for the electricity is conveniently located right next to the room containing the wand. Step 3: Snow White will run outside of the Ballroom, thus prompting the guards to follow her and make sure nothing happens to her while she is outside of their line of sight. Step 4: While Snow White brings the guards away from the wand, Flynn will sneak into the room, wearing a ski mask to hide his identity. Step 5: He will then replace the wand with a replica that he and Snow had made throughout that week. Step 6: Snow White will request to be alone in the garden outside of the Ballroom so that she could get her emotions in check. She will be in public, after all! Step 7: Flynn will meet her in the garden with the wand, and they will flee the island via the Pegasus that Flynn has as his right-hand man. After that, the rest will be history. “Does that sound right?” Snow White asked Flynn with genuine curiosity. His only response was to nod his head in agreement. “Well, I will see you tomorrow at the Ball, then,” Snow White said, with a bit of anxiety in her voice, as she left his home. “See you then, Snow,” Flynn said, winking at her. She instantly felt better. She knew that she could conquer the events of the next day head-on if Flynn was on her side.

Public System Announcement for Somerset Lane Isle citizens for the annual Debutant Ball.

Today was the day; it was finally time to go into steal-the-wand mode. Snow White could barely contain her excitement over what was about to occur. After she got ready for the Debutante Ball that night, she started to get slightly nervous about the plan, and if it would go well or not. She was able to calm her nerves and put on a good show, like she always did, as she walked with her parents to the entrance of the Ball. Out of the corner of her eye, Snow saw Flynn in the corner of the Ballroom, doing his best to go unnoticed. Snow wondered under what pretenses he was allowed to be in here, because they hadn’t considered that part of the plan. Because Flynn was, well, Flynn, she was sure he had just snuck when a guard wasn’t looking. She stifled a big smile, because that too was unladylike, as she had learned over the years. Then, her name was finally called, and she descended the stairs with her father on one arm. Her mother stood on the sidelines, beaming at her with pride. “Maybe she is going to turn everything around, and this will be her chance at having a good, happy life,” Margareta thought to herself. However, this fate was not to be if Snow’s plan went off without a hitch.

Snow White then scanned the ball, looking for someone to pick an argument with that would appear believable, and rather embarrassing, to everyone else in attendance. That is when she spotted him. She saw a very prestigious prince, Sir Bartlet, who looked like he had already had one too many pungent potions. She approached him, slyly looking at him from the corner of her eye. Suddenly, she yelled as loud as she could, “Sir Bartlet! How could you say such a thing to me! I am a modest woman, and a princess! Get away from me, you scoundrel!” She continued spouting practically nonsense to draw in a crowd. Just as planned, all her father’s guards flooded in around her, removed a protesting Sir Bartlet, and followed her as she stormed out of the room. As she looked around her, she saw exactly what she expected: faces filled with horror and disgust. “What do they think of me now?” Snow thought. “Oh, who cares! I’m getting out of here,” she said to herself. Then, she saw something she didn’t quite expect. Her mother was staring at her with shame, embarrassment, and disappointment. That one cut her a little bit deep, more so than the strangers’ disapproval surrounding her from every angle. Her mom had always been her supporter, her cheerleader, but in a silent and strong way. However, Snow decided to continue with the plan. Her happiness and future were at stake, after all. Snow proceeded to run out to the garden outside of the Ballroom and put on an amazing, Emmy-award-winning show for the guards, who decided to leave her to her own devices for a brief period to collect herself. Suddenly, she saw the whole Ballroom go dark, and she smiled with satisfaction and giddiness about what the future would hold.

As Flynn approached Snow, he did so quietly so as to not raise any suspicion or startle her. He silently motioned for her to come with him, as it was time to make their getaway from the scene of the crime. As she ran up to him, out of breath from nerves and adrenaline, Flynn silently took off his ski mask and lifted his coat to show Snow White what she had been dreaming about for weeks now: the Fairy Godmother’s wand. She almost shrieked with glee, but then she remembered that they were not away from the danger of being caught just yet. Then, they started towards the forest, Snow White with a new zest for life and a sense of freedom that she hasn’t tasted in her entire life. However, something about Flynn seemed off to her. She could not quite put her finger on what it was, but he was not his normal, charming self. Should she be worried? She didn’t know. Then, she posed the question that she was for some reason dreading. “Can I hold it?” She asked him, meekly. “Oh, um…yeah,” he responded. He slowly pulled the wand out of his jacket for a second time and delicately placed it in Snow’s hands. She couldn’t stand the excitement. But something still felt off. All of a sudden, she heard rustling in the bushes behind her. Then, out of nowhere, two of her father’s guards tackled her to the ground. She saw the wand flying through the air, only to land in the dirt a mere foot from her grasping hand. “Flynn, what…what is going on?!” Snow screamed, as the guards pulled out their handcuffs. “I’m sorry, Snow,” he replied, sheepishly backing away and into the night. “Your dad came to me because he saw your written plans for a heist, but he wasn’t quite sure what was going to be stolen, or what was going to happen. He saw my name written on the plans. When he came to me, he told me that I could be cleared of all my past criminal charges if I told him what was happening, who was involved, and when it would occur. So, I did what I had to do. Surely, you understand,” he finished.

Suddenly filled with feelings of rage, urgency, and betrayal, she mustered all of her strength to stretch her arm out and grab the wand. She then hit one of the guards over his head, and he fell into the other security guard, who fell onto his own sword and then to the dirt by Snow’s feet. She was able to unsheathe the sword from one the other guard’s belts. She then held it out in front of her, angrily waving it as a warning. Not only had she been set up, but she had lost the chance to find true love in Flynn. Even though she was heartbroken, she knew had to escape. There was no going home and being accepted into the kingdom after this. She had to get to a boat, and it had to be quick. Slowly, she backed away into the night, still holding the sword. Once she was out of sight, she darted into the woods, never to be seen again. But a commoner walking in the woods did find the wand the next day, haphazardly laying underneath a broken tree branch. Many wondered why she didn’t keep it to pay for her extravagant new life. Evidence of her crimes and escape, maybe? Some said to each other as the gossip of what happened spread. The king’s name has since been spoken with disgrace and disgust among his people due to his daughter’s heinous crimes. However, Flynn knew she would never leave the prized possession unless her life was at stake, especially after all of their hard work and planning.

Now, I ask you two important questions, my dear, loyal reader (if you have made it this far in this daunting tale). Would you turn Ms. Snow White in to the royal guard if you saw her roaming through the woods, savagely staring into your soul from a distance? But, more importantly: what really happened to Snow White?

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